Professor BatWatch Rises
After bomb threats, a computer system crash, and snow days, Professor BatWatch is finally back and ready to give the final five grades of the Fall semester. Professor BatWatch knows that only one student had a grade so bad he or she would call in a bomb threat to delay receiving it. Who is the guilty culprit that will be receiving an F today? Let's find out.
As with previous installments, the grades are only based on issues which came out during the Fall semester, August 1st through December 9th.
Mr. Grayson, I know all the young women love you, and you have your fair share of admirers among the staff as well, but I have to say that I have not been as taken with you. Though you were once a master who gracefully executed your skills and accomplished your goals, you now seem to struggle through every challenge, and I find this quite disappointing. The quality of your recent work has not been terrible, but it has not been up the level that I know you could accomplish. Furthermore, I was very disappointed with your Zero project where you crafted a tale which undermined the paternal relationship between your protagonist and his guardian. Now that you have made the protagonist merely an employee rather than a son, it has destroyed the delicate complexities of the central relationship which gave your narrative its appeal. Very disappointing. Still, this is a passing grade and hope blooms eternal. Perhaps if you spend less time entertaining the young ladies and more time studying, you can earn an A in the Spring.
The Ravagers: C-
Miss Fairchild, thank you for joining me. As you can see, your grade has room for improvement. You may expect me to tear into you; I know that is what students expect of me, and it is true that I demand very much of those under my tutelage. However, I do temper my wrath somewhat when it comes to new students, so let me be clear, I am disappointed in you, but I do believe you have the potential to do better. I do not say that about all my students. Some students seem as if they were created to disappoint me, but you show promise. Your work is quite good at times, but it loses something in its delivery. Though you have intriguing ideas, they are often not fully developed before you move on to another train of thought. I believe your struggles might be because you are trying to take on too much. I suggest you try to slow things down. I would rather see you take the time to fully develop one assignment rather than rush through it to meet a certain deadline. I will give you patience and mercy if you will give me quality work. You have a large group of friends that seem interested in helping you. Use them and develop those relationships. A good group of well understood and well appreciated friends is an indispensable boon for the kind of project you are attempting. Take heart. If you heed my words, you will go far.
Red Hood and the Outlaws: B-
Mr. Todd, it's a pleasure to see you. I have to admit that though I had high hopes for you, I was skeptical because you do not seem like the studying type. However, you have proven yourself to be an apt student. Still, I'm not sure you are really living up to your full potential. It sometimes feels that you are more interested in making jokes than accomplishing your goals, and though I appreciate the occasional levity, I think you would do better to take your work a tad more seriously. Still, overall you have done well. I look forward to seeing what you come up with on your Joker project. I understand that you feel quite passionately about that one.
Yet another freshman has come to join me. Sit down, Mr. Rose? I seem beset on every side with freshman today. As you can see, you have survived your first semester. The question is how do you now go from surviving to thriving? You have done some very good work, but you have also turned in some assignments which were less than stellar. Your work has never been bad, but I think you could use a little more character development on your protagonist. Also, you messed up several small details on your latest project. They were small mistakes, but small mistakes add up. In short, you have made a solid start to your tenure with us, but there is room for improvement, so Mr. Calvin...improve.
Ah yes, I almost forgot to discuss your non-academic issues. I must say, this behavior needs to stop. Your escapes from study hall might have become school legend, but they also landed you in detention. There have also been disturbing rumors about you lifting the test answers in your history class. For your sake, I hope these are not true, and I assure you that it will be a most unpleasant experience if you ever try that with me.
Worlds' Finest: F
Miss Wayne, I normally try to show some kindness to new students, but my patience with you has run out. Your assignments have been ludicrously bad. Your characters show the emotional depth of wall spackle, your plots are as pointless as air conditioning in an igloo, and your moralizing is as inappropriate as a bikini at a funeral. You managed to take young Damian and make him even more unpleasant than usual. You have wasted my time with assignments which were not worth the effort of grading. You have been a general waste of space, and if I had my way, you would be kicked out and your position would be given to a student with actual intelligence and ambition!
I know it was you and that little tart Karen who called in the bomb threat. I may not be able to prove it, but I know. Even if I could find evidence, there is a very real chance that the school would never allow me to expel you due to your late parents' trust fund. With all of that in mind, I suppose the only joy I can have when dealing with you is giving you an F on every assignment. I can only hope that you somehow become someone else's problem one day.
That's All Folks
The Professor is done for at least a few more months. Let me know what grade you would have given to the various books.
Have a happy New Year's Eve, but don't be stupid. Batman doesn't drink; I suggest you follow his example, but if you must drink, be among non-drinking friends who will look after you. Best wishes!
Also, keep out an eye for Friday's article, “Will Talon Have a Successful Ongoing Series?”